Kindergarten Stories

There have been many things about Charlotte being in kindergarten that have required adjustment, but probably the most jarring one is the fact that she is away from me all day, and I only have the vaguest notion of what her day is like at school. It’s not like with daycare, or nursery school, where I received a comprehensive report on what she did every day. If I want to know what her day was like, I have to rely on her to tell me. And when I hear some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth, well, I’m not sure she’s the best, most accurate source for this information.

“Somebody pooped at school today, and there was poop EVERYWHERE, and all the children were covered in poop, and the whole school was covered with poop, and the teachers had to clean it up.” At first, I chalked this story up to Charlotte’s fascination with poop. Much to my chagrin, she loves to talk about poop. She pretends to make me “poo-poo cake” and I can’t even pretend to eat it. Barf. She loves to describe her own poop. I seriously do not remember either me or my sister being so interested in poop at this age, but there you have it. This story actually turned out to have at least a grain of truth in it, after I discovered from some of the other moms in the class that their children also had told a similar story. Apparently one of the kids in the class is perhaps not fully toilet trained yet, and, unbeknownst to the teachers, took off a poopy Pull Up, thus resulting in poop “everywhere.” And while I hope the “children were all covered in poop” aspect to this story is an embellishment, I have taken to giving her a bath most days after school, just in case.

Happy girl after the daily scrubbing

Happy girl after the daily scrubbing

“I had to go to the office today and check on a girl who got hit by a car.” Um, WHAT?! I feel fairly confident that the school would inform parents if a child was, in fact, hit by a car during school hours, so I seriously doubt the veracity of this story. I’m guessing that the teachers had a talk with the class about street safety, and that’s where the whole “hit by a car” thing came from. When I pressed her for details, she then claimed that it was a “pretend” office that she went to.

And then, of course, there’s the usual “so-and-so pushed me/wasn’t sharing/took my toy” stories that always come out. Again, I am unsure as to how accurate or current these recollections are, as she has used the names of kids she went to nursery school with who are not in kindergarten with her. I usually respond to these stories with a generic “Well, if that happens, tell them ‘don’t push me/please share/don’t take my toy’ and tell the teacher if you have to.”

I can only imagine as the school year goes on that I will hear a great number of entertaining and questionable stories. Her teacher told me that they are having lockdown practice and fire drills over the next couple of days. I can’t wait to hear how that will manifest itself in Charlotte’s mind. And of course, there’s the flip side to Charlotte’s penchant for storytelling- I don’t even want to THINK about what overly exaggerated tales she’s telling her classmates and teachers about her home life. Let’s face it, with everything that comes of Penelope, she has bodily secretion stories in the multitudes to share.

"Copious disgusting bodily secretions from me? Never!"

“Copious disgusting bodily secretions from me? Never!”

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One thought on “Kindergarten Stories

  1. Ha ha too funny. I can just imagine the stories she is telling at school. I told granny about “that poo filled day” last week….we were wondering what could have happened.

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