Yesterday morning I woke up in a bit of a bad mood. I had been dreaming about my mom, and then my alarm went off, and that cut the dream short, so right away, I was feeling a bit off. Then Charlotte came upstairs and I discovered she had gone to bed without her Pull-Up (we are still working on nighttime dryness) and so her sheets needed to be changed and she would need a bath before school. So feeling “off” turned to feeling crabby. Trying to get everyone ready and out the door felt very rushed, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was forgetting something. There was an undercurrent of anxiety with my bad mood, and more than anything, I wanted the day to be over so that I could go to bed and sleep off these feelings.
I hoped that going for a walk with Penelope would help with my mood. It didn’t. And when it was time for her to have her lunchtime formula, I desperately wanted to curl up in a ball on the couch and cry. Or sleep. Or eat some ice cream (Yes, I am an emotional eater). Anything to chase the bad mood away. Instead, I sat down at the computer and brought to life a blog post that had been rattling around in my head for awhile. And even though I didn’t write about anything deeply personal, when I was finished, I felt wonderful. Happy. Content. There was no trace of the anxious, grumpy person I had been earlier. It was like just the act of writing released whatever emotional pressure had built up in my mind.
This realization has inspired me to keep up with the writing. It is good for me. It is cheaper than therapy, and far more palatable than any medication to stabilize my moods. I am so happy to have found this outlet. And god knows, with the winter approaching, I will need emotional release on a regular basis (I am definitely prone to depression in the winter months). So on days when it is too cold/snowy/icy/horrible outside and we are forced to stay home, I can look forward to writing during naptime, and maybe I will make it through the November-April period with more good days than bad ones. And without gaining forty pounds. As Charlotte would say, “Good plan? Good plan!”