Trouble is brewing on the horizon of my relationship. A lack of variety, my needs not being met, and I just don’t feel like I’m being heard. I’m talking, of course, about my relationship with Netflix.
For awhile now, frustrations have been bubbling under the surface of our interactions. “Forget it, Julie,” I’d tell myself. “It will get better. Netflix can change!” I finally accepted that our relationship was in trouble the other day when I was browsing through my recommendations after the kids were in bed and I was ready to unwind. First of all, well over half of the recommended shows were for kids. Come ON, Netflix! Don’t you know that it’s my time now? At 7a.m., when I’m barely awake, yes, of course, offer all the kids shows you have in stock. But at night, why can’t you understand that I do not want to scroll through Dora, Bob the Builder, Thomas, Pinky Dinky Doo, etc, to find something to watch? What are you trying to tell me, Netflix? That I don’t deserve a life outside of my kids? Well, that’s just insulting.
There were a few adult shows thrown in there- Suits (seen it), My Name is Earl (no), Gossip Girl (meh), Californication (not in the mood), and Clone Wars (no way in hell). I decided to see what else Netflix had to offer outside of the recommended category. And then, buried deep in the Drama category, I found House. And I got angry.
How could Netflix know so little about me as to recommend Clone Wars and not House? Have I not made my preferences perfectly clear? I like light-hearted, witty sitcoms like Parks and Recreation and Happy Endings (which tragically only has 3 seasons, all 3 of which I have now watched twice) and dramas with some levity infused, as in Suits and, well, House. I was stunned by this glaring omission. I mean, I gave up a long term relationship with cable for Netflix- and this is how they treat me? With a complete lack of appreciation for my interests and my needs?
And evidently, the customer “support” Netflix offers does not cover support for a customer’s emotional needs.They only deal with “technical” issues. Apparently, I have a “problem”, and am “too attached” to Netflix. Apparently, Netflix needs “some space.” Hmmph.
Well, that’s fine. I can give them space. I’ll just stop watching for awhile. I can totally do that. Except, I really want to see the next episode of House. It’s the one where they think the guy has lupus but it turns out to be some really rare disease instead and he almost dies but the team figures it out just in time. Also, we haven’t finished watching season two of House of Cards. And Orange is the New Black will be starting again soon. Oh, who am I kidding? Netflix- I can’t stay mad at you! I love you!